Friday, January 1, 2010

A New Decade, A New Chapter

Happy 2010 everyone. Wow. I can hardly believe it. I have been thinking a lot today about where I have been over the last 10 years. What were your highlights and low-lights over the last decade?

Highlights:
2000: Opened my own floral shop
2001: Started dating Mister
2002: Sold floral shop and started my event business. Got engaged to Mister!
2003: Married! We had a beautiful wedding...
2004: Bought our house (for better or worse)...
2007: Our son was born and we finally became parents through open, domestic adoption
2009: Well...most of you know why 2009 was a banner year!

Notice anything? Isn't there a big gap between 2004-2007? Why? Well, all I can conjure up in my memories about those years have to do with the struggles of trying to conceive, our failures, our miscarriage. The diagnosis. The despair. The toll it took on Mister and I each personally, and as a couple. Those are years I will never get back. All in all, over five years of what I think of as "the Infertility Years".... half of a decade. It makes me sad to think of all that time that was wasted feeling sad and hopeless. But how could I not? I feel badly about the friendships that went by the wayside--because I couldn't deal with watching my friends' dreams come true and their picture-perfect lives unfold while I felt as if mine was falling apart. I feel guilty about not being 100% whole for my son. All those times my depression got the better of me.

But none of this is new news. Anyone who's read my blog has heard it all before.

Today starts a new year. A new decade, and hopefully, a new era in my life. I am excited about what the year has to bring, and not bitter about the year I am leaving behind for the first time in years. Even though there is so much to worry about or fret about (the economy, my dwindling business, where we're going to put this baby once it is born, how we're going to pay for everything, etc...) I do not feel worried. A little overwhelmed some days, but not that worried. I feel satisfied. For the first time in a long time I have faith that 'everything will work out.' I don't feel like I'm walking in quicksand anymore.

If the 'aughts were my decade of struggle may the tens be my decade of satisfaction and contentment. That's not too much to ask for right? Haha. I am wishing love, happiness, and fulfillment of dreams for all of you my Internet friends.

If you would like to scroll down, I've included a few belly pics, if you are so inclined. If not, I will leave you here. Happy 2010.


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About 17 weeks

3 comments:

Char said...

Hi Frenchie! I loved seeing your gorgeous pics!!! Yay for you with your lovely round belly! I am sooooo happy for you, Frenchie. All those years of misery and now this. Wonderful, isn't it? May this year be everything you dream it to be. I can't wait to see how this year unfolds for all of us! Hugs x

Good Egg Hunting said...

You look fabulous! Here's to the decade of contentment ahead. :)

Kami said...

Wow! You look great! If you need, um, a few extra pounds - I have some for you.

Nice to catch up - I can't believe I missed so much. It is amazing you are in your 20's already and wonderful to hear all is going well. You deserve it!