Sunday, January 3, 2010

There's Not a Book for That

Handsome Man has several books that have to do with adoption. He especially loves "Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born." He asks me to read it to him several times a week. When I read it to him we talk about the night he was born and all the excitement Mommy and Daddy had, how we couldn't wait to see him, about Eryn, about the first time we held him in our arms. I'm not sure how much of this information sinks in...he's two years old, after all. But, as far as I know, Handsome Man believes that Mommies and Daddies get on planes and go somewhere to "get" their babies. Now, as my belly is growing, we are talking more and more about "the Baby." We are trying to talk to HM about being a big brother. We have to keep reminding him to be gentle with Mommy, and careful around her tummy, because "there is a little baby in there."

How confusing is this to him, I wonder?

I want to prepare him for being a big brother, and there are plenty of books I can get on that topic.

But, they don't make a book for our situation (or do they?) We adopted you (mommy couldn't make a baby in her tummy). Now you are going to be a big brother. There is another baby on the way! But this one is growing in Mommy's tummy. Um, yeah.

I'm trying not to make a big deal out of any of it, and certainly not drawing any comparisons between the origins of HM and 'Baby on the way'. It would probably go over his head anyway. But what about later? I'm trying to prepare myself for questions... I just wish they made a book for this one. (If you know of any let me know).

Thankfully, Mister was adopted, then had two siblings who were born into the family. So, you know, thank goodness for that. In our family it will seem run-of-the-mill. I hope.


Just me said...

Maybe you should write one!

Good Egg Hunting said...

This is tricky but given that you're thinking about it and have the most loving intentions I am certain that whatever you say to him will be accepted and become normal to him...I am also considering what we will and won't tell our baby (and when) about how he was conceived (via IVF). I don't think there's anything to hide but I don't want to overload him at the wrong time, either. Honestly, why does it all have to be so complicated??

Peeveme said...

Hm..I wonder about a similar thing (one is via my egg the other is via a donor egg). Wonder if one will feel less confused ect... I guess I will present it early, often, as simply as possible, and matter of fact. It's no big deal...just different...and then we move on.