One Foot In Front of the Other

Hello everyone, and once again, and as always, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the supportive comments. 

I am doing ok. I have been trying to not think too long or too hard (though it's difficult sometimes) about what my body is or is not doing. At this point, it is somewhat out of my control. Or maybe entirely out of my control. No amount of healthy living and supplements and wheat grass is gonna turn around what already is. Though being healthy is good, it isn't going to make any babies spring forth from this body on its own. So, I am just focusing on putting one foot in front of the other. One day at a time. I have two things on the immediate horizon: The lap and hysteroscopy my gyno has planned for me, and also the follow up to my thyroid testing. I have my follow up appointment to go over my blood work scheduled for March 5th, and am trying to get my surgery scheduled for the following day. (I am waiting to hear back from the woman who schedules the surgery for that doc. She was supposed to get back to me by today, so I have already called her and harassed her -nicely- on her voicemail once today). Once I have the surgery, and know what if any the results were (if I have endo, or if there was anything else wonky going on in there) then I will have more information about what to do next. Surely, if I do have bad endo, then having it 'cleared out' can only be a good thing, whether I proceed with IVF with my own eggs, or with DE. Either way, a healthy environment for embryos to grow in can only be a positive, right? And as for the thyroid? Who knows. Maybe something was out of whack and it can be corrected. Then I will have that information and can make a choice about how to move forward. If all is normal with the thyroid, and it can NOT be blamed for my weird cycles, then I will have to move forward and have my FSH et al tested again, and let those results direct me on how to proceed. I can't figure it all out at once, I need to get the information one step at a time. And hopefully the path will become clear. But I am on the path. That is the important thing. I am not going to be sitting out on the sidelines any longer. I know that I had to take myself out of the game for different reasons at different times, and I can't go back into the past and beat my self up for it (though my brain would like to --and I have to keep telling it to shut up, already!). It is what it is. I am moving forward, bit by bit.