Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Not Much to Report

Hello All,
First, I want to thank everyone who sent me their supportive comments. It is so nice to be reminded that there are other people out there who can actually understand what I'm going through, and are empathetic. Not many people around me are super sensitive to the whole thang that is INFERTILITY!.

My friend, J. is about 10 days away from her due date. I had the opportunity to spend some quality girl time with her a week ago, and I have to say, I am pretty proud of myself. I asked her to tell me how she was feeling, I let her "complain" about her pregnancy symptoms, and I just tried to be a good friend, and put that whole IF thing on the shelf as much as one can. At the end of our "friend date" I even put my hand on her belly to feel the baby kicking, and I put my face near her belly button, and said, "Little Dude, this is your Auntie Frenchie, I can't wait to meet you. Be nice to your mommy when it's time for you to come out! I love you." And, even though tears were appearing as I stood back up, I meant it all. It is possible to love your pregnant friend, love her baby, be happy for her, wish her the best of everything, and still be a little bit sad that it's not you in her shoes.

And, in my own little world, I have been going crazy as usual with work/home/life responsibilities, but I have to say, it all means nothing when I look at Baby Boy. Every time I think it is NOT possible to love that kid any more than I already do, another day goes by, and I discover a new level of love for him. Sometimes, I'll be holding him, giving him a bottle, or just playing with him, and I just start crying (Okay I cry a lot. I'm a cryer. V. annoying) because I just loooooove him so much! And I can't believe he's MY son. I guess that's what being a mom is all about...just being so in love with your child, that it is bigger than you ever could have imagined, and impossible to really explain. Adopted, biological child, product of donor eggs, donor sperm, in vitro, carried by surrogate, whatever the case...your child is your child. The most precious person in your life, the person that makes you A MOM! How wonderful! How awesome! Anyway, he is such a gift from that Big Guy Upstairs. And, I just felt that I should let y'all know, that despite the frustration of the whole IF thing, (which I mostly talk about here on this blog) that I am very aware of how dang lucky I am. I am. I know. Deeply privileged to be his mother.

Phew. Getting a little ver klempt.

In other news, my appointment with my new RE approaches (Sept. 10th). I don't know if he'll have anything new or interesting to tell me, but we'll see. If they are willing to do IUI with us, it might be something to consider. A cheaper option than IVF. Waaaay cheaper. *sigh* I don't know.

A very nice person made a comment on my last entry about Donor Eggs. Yes, it is in the list of Things to Consider. The good thing about donor eggs would be (aside from a high chance of actually getting pregnant and delivering a healthy baby! *My darn eggs--phhhhhtttt*) that there wouldn't be such a huge rush. I mean, if we're not worrying about my ageing eggs, and since there's nothing wrong with my uterus, etc., I could certainly do the whole DE thing in several years. Which is probably the amount of time it would take to save up the money to do it. Hmmmm.

Anywhoo...what's up with you all?


Kami said...

What a lovely post. It was nice (and hopeful) to read. Good for you for supporting and being there for your friend. I think that may be more than I could do right now. Thankfully, none of my friends are pregnant.

Thank you for your comments on my blog too. It does feel good to have some hope for the future.

Tiff said...

Hey! Good to get an update from you here. Sorry things are so busy with work, but it sounds like you are also taking the time to enjoy the things you should be....and OMG how cute is your little boys?! Wow!

TeamWinks said...

So stinkin' cute!!! He's beyond adorable!