Monday, October 1, 2007

Not Sure You Want to Know, But...

My period did come early, but I eeked out a couple of more days after my last post. I wound up with a 23-day cycle, as opposed to my usual 27-28 day cycle. Distressing, but I am trying to get back on the positive thinking train, and tell myself that everyone has random weird cycles, even 20-year-old fertile women. So there.

And on to bigger things: Next month we will do our first ever IUI. I got my "packet" from my RE's office the other day, complete with lab slips for me (to get my FSH, TSH tested) and for Mister (to check his swimmers). Also in the packet is my prescription for Clo.mid. Feels a little deja vu-ish, (the Clo.mid part) but I am going with it. My RE wants to start with the Clo.mid, so I'm down. Hey, we might get lucky, right? I am opting for some extra monitoring (ultrasounds) though, to make sure we get a clear picture of how my little ovaries are responding to the drug. If I'm not getting enough good mature follicles, then I don't want to waste any time doing it again. I'd rather move right on to injectibles.

Of course, I am hoping that we get lucky with IUI either way, so we don't have to go to IVF. As y'all know, finances are an issue for us at the moment. And, if we find ourselves facing IVF, it opens a whole can of worms. Can we afford it? What do we give up in order to afford it? How many can we afford to do? How many can we afford to do if we want to have any hope of adopting again if it doesn't work? Are we willing to spend it "all" on IVF and risk not being able to adopt again if it doesn't work? How badly do we (I) want to be pregnant? Or is it more important to just to grow our family? And what about Donor Eggs? When will I give up on my own eggs? Should we just forget it all now, and wait a couple of years, when our financial situation is improved, and go strait to DE? Ugh. My little brain gets dizzy.

At any rate, I am trying to take it one step at a time. And, I am trying not to get too worked up over this first IUI. I am trying to think of it just as a fact-finding mission. Sort of like just doing more fertility testing. You know, see how I respond to the drug, see what my ovaries are doing, and get a better picture of what our options are.

I hope I can hold on to that mind-set as I'm actually going through it, and all jacked up on the hormones.


Kami said...

Good luck with the IUI!

Lots of questions about the future . . . I can relate, but in the end you do what you need to do. As I keep reminding myself, $60,000 in to fertility treatments, who needs to retire?

fortune_cookie said...

Hello Miss Inconceivability -- I happened upon your blog today and had to give a shout out. I wish you the very best of luck with your IUI next month. I'm in the same boat -- high FSH (diminished ovarian reserve), DE talk from the doc, and I'm considering adoption, etc. You've done what hubbabubba and I will likely end up doing -- adopting first, trying for a bio baby second. It's so hard to decide on the donor egg part. That's something hubbabubba wants to do if we can't have a bio baby, but I'm not so sure yet. IF is such an amazing (challenging and emotionally-charged) journey with decisions and options galore, oh, and of course incredibly exorbitant expenses. If IVF and DE weren't so darned expensive... well, I think you know what I mean.

Anyway, I wish you all the best on expanding your family, in whatever way it happens.