Thursday, January 20, 2011

Handsome Man: Please Send Good Thoughts

So things seem to be not getting better with Handsome Man, despite our best efforts so far. After several visits with the child psychologist (who originally diagnosed his ADHD/ODD) we were encouraged to try some medication. We were against it at first, but, as time went on, we realized we needed to do something to break the cycle of bad behavior=negative attention=more bad behavior. We're not just talking about your typical 3-year-old stuff. I can go into more detail at some point, but let's suffice it to say that we felt desperate. Not just for ourselves, but for him. It breaks our hearts to see our beautiful boy struggling so much and dealing with so much. It is not that he is a "bad" kid, "spoiled" or anything like that (though that may be what it looks like to the outside observer--just ask any of the people gawking at us the other day when he had a major meltdown at the grocery store). He can not control his impulses. At all. And his emotions are all over the place and totally out of control. He is suffering, really and truly. It is like he is trapped in his own mind/body that is just not functioning the way it should, the way it could. So, PLEASE don't send me hateful messages because I put my preschooler on medication. We debated. We tried special diets first. We consulted with a doctor of TCM also (and still are). But we needed to do more. And so, at first the medication seemed to help. And, then, not really. If anything, it seems like things are getting worse. Our follow up yesterday with the child psychologist confirmed this.

Anyway, the reason for this post is, really, to ask everyone for their prayers or good thoughts for us TOMORROW. Because tomorrow we (finally!) have our screening scheduled with the County Board of Education/Special Ed program. They will assess Handsome Man and then we will find out if his condition qualifies him for the program. WE NEED THIS. If he gets into the program we expect they will have a behavioral therapist who will be able to work one-on-one with him at his school, and they will create an "IFP" or an "IEP" for us--and I'm hoping, we'll get plugged into a greater network of help that we can utilize. I am still trying to sort everything out and figure out where to get help and how. When you find out your child has a special need, it's not like someone hands you a manual on what to do. It's more like following a trail of breadcrumbs.

As far as the meds go, the pediatrician said we could safely up his dose, based on his weight/height etc.. I am going to try this and monitor him carefully. The psychologist said we should be able to see improvement within one week if it is working. If not, then we need to try something else. I asked her for a referral for a child psychiatrist, who could help us with this more on the medication side. Obviously, I don't want to drug my child without cause, or forever, but we need to find a way in with him, so that we can even get to the point where he can benefit and handle say, weekly sessions with a behavioral therapist. At this point he's not even able to do school, unless I'm there to shadow him throughout the day. This is difficult for me to do since I have Grace with me.

Please hold us in your thoughts tomorrow morning, and hopefully we will be getting some more help/answers soon.


Duck said...

Hang in there. As the sibling, younger sibling, of someone with add i WISH someone medicated my sister, and got her real pysychiatic help, I love her but she tortured me as a child.

Meghan said...

Hey there, I'm mostly a lurker but have been reading for years. I'll keep Handsome Man in my thoughts but wanted to let you know I've worked in special ed for the last 11 years. If I can be of any help, just shoot me an email meghan (dot) e (dot) hoffman @ gmail.
You're right, the whole eligibility process is confusing and not parent friendly at all. Good luck with it all

Just me said...

I totally agree that you should see a child psychiatrist. It's been so interesting to me in my own health issues to see how much of difference there can be when I've seen a specialist.

Don't be afraid to get a second opinion, either. I'm not doubting HM's issues, but as an educator I can tell you that 3 is super early for a dx of ADHD and especially ODD, so if it's possible to get more information it would definitely be helpful.

All fingers crossed that his meeting goes well and he gets into this program. Any child will benefit from behavior therapy, so it would be especially helpful for HM and your family!

Good luck!

Lavender Luz said...

I'm crossing all the crossibles. Sending you both good thoughts of getting the help that will make a difference.


worldofwinks said...

We call it parenting outside the box. When none of the books out there seem to fit your unique situation. Go with what you feel is right in your head and heart. It's your child, and as long as you can sleep at night, then you are on the right path. Hang in there!

s.e. said...

As I was reading the first part of your post, I was questioning if you had looked into an early childhood program. Special education can be an overwhelming, scary place but I have seen it do wonders many times. Handsome Man may start to thrive with some structure and daily therapy. And hopefully, you will be given more guidance and answers too.

Hope all went well today.

Good Egg Hatched said...

Hey -- I really hope all went well yesterday and you qualified for the program. I'm so sorry HM is having such a hard time. Hope some relief comes soon -- for all of you -- in some form. My thoughts are with you!

JJ said...

Lots and lots of love and thoughts for you all!

Tracy said...

Lots of prayers and positive thoughts coming your way. I have E&R on IEPs due to their hearing loss, and it offers great peace of mind; I hope you get the help you need. Truly, the investment in IEPs benefits EVERYBODY, so I can't imagine why you wouldn't get approved. Good luck.