Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Blogosphere Ettiquite

If there is a Miss Manners for the blogging world, then I have a question for her.

I read quite a few blogs. Lately, I've been reading more of the adoption/parenting after adoption blogs than the trying to conceive blogs. I think it is because I can relate better to the adoption blogs than to the ones who are in treatment. I have a few bloggie buddies who are in treatment that I still follow, because I really want to see how things turn out and I am rooting for them, but I'll be honest, in general, it's difficult to read about the women who seem to be able to follow through with cycle after cycle until they reach their pot of gold, when I can't do anything in the treatment department right now. It's frustrating. Being on the bench is hard when you really want to play in the game, and watching other people throw the ball back and forth makes me jealous.

Anyway, to my question. On these several blogs I am reading, and have been reading for months and months, I often will leave comments. (As, I believe, is part of what this whole blogging community is about, no?) Ok. None, and I mean NONE of these people ever, ever leave comments on my blog. Ever. What does this mean? In fact, there is one blog in particular that I have been following for the past 2 years, through her trying to conceive, and now into the adoption process; I have left many a comment over the years, and not one drive by on my blog. So, this could mean many things, but I am not sure which. Help me out, if you will....

1. My blog is boring as shit and no one wants to read it.
2. They don't know who the hell I am and see me as a weird interloper/stalker.
3. They really don't appreciate my comments and think I am an idiot.
4. I have said something offensive? (I never would purposely, but gosh, who knows?)
5. There is something about my blog or what I write about or my situation in general that offends them, or they just can't relate to.
6. I am being way overly sensitive. (As I am wont to do in real life as well).

Assvice welcome.


Lori said...

Definitely NOT #1.

I vote for #7: they don't know a good thing when it leaves them a comment.

Ditch the blog.

Duck said...

Weird - I don't know what to tell you about the no comments from the others people, but I can relate to you on being benched.
It SUCKS, and I can relate to almost no one right now, the normal cycle after cycle ladies - I can barely read, just the ones that I've known a long time.
Otherwise, I'm just so no where near anyone... if that makes sense?
i'm with Lori - ditch 'em

Amber said...

Maybe they just don't comment? I feel the same way sometimes when I comment and don't get anything back.

sarah23 said...

Maybe the person
1) is deathly shy and never comments on anyone's blog, or
2) has dozens/hundreds of people commenting and she doesn't have time to read all of their blogs.

But yeah, it sounds like you would have a lot in common, so I think that would be frustrating.

Tracy said...

Sometimes people leave comments on my blog but there's no way to get back to them. Does your profile include a link to your blog? Just checkin'. I feel bad when I can't find these commenters.

Maybe they aren't blogging for networking purposes, and just like to write out their feelings?

(see, I'm assuming the best here...)

Or maybe they are just rude assholes. ;) I think your blog is wonderful, and it's one of the first I started reading way back when.

Marie said...

Hi, I had to comment here because I can totally relate. I found this one blogger and I am infatuated(sp) with her. I have left many and she say nothin. Oh well. I have read some of your other posts and I think you are delightful so keep up the good work!!

Maria said...

Hmm, that is really strange. I've had a few people like that, and I usually just stop reading there blogs. I feel the blogging community is about give and take and these people just seem to want to take. I would say it's nothing to do with you, but all them. And I don't think you're being overly sensitive, they're being rude.

P.S. I also know what you mean about sitting on the bench and not liking reading other people's ttc stories.

Kami said...

I have wondered the same thing. I have left several comments on one particular blog and never got a comment. After about 4 months, I figured it must be me and stopped commenting although I do lurk once in awhile. This blog got a lot of traffic so I figured I wasn't needed.

Tiff said...

I know I don't comment as much as I should MY BAD!
I think there are bloggers out there that are more in it to get than give. I don't know...that is all I can come up with.
I will comment more often, I promise.

Bee Cee said...

Like Tiff, I don't comment as much as I should, but please know that I am always reading. I hope I haven't upset you by not commenting much, if so, I'm sorry. Forgive me?

Star said...

Wow, how interesting. I didn't know that there was blog etiquette or that someone leaving a comment on your blog obligated you to leave a comment on theirs. I normally at least check out the blogs of the people who comment on mine, but I am a rare commenter, and will only comment when I feel as though I truly have something to add that might be of value. So it's possible that they just don't know that they are supposed to return the comments. You learn something new every day!

luna said...

I've had this same issue, and sometimes it makes me less inclined to leave comments anymore on those blogs.

but I have to say, I thought you were on my reader but I missed all these posts so I guess you weren't on it. oops!

Lori said...

I agree with Star on this. Readership and popularity are built by being interesting and relevant in your blog. Comments are a great way to get readers and find other blogs don't get me wrong. But there is no expectation and no etiquette. Be a good writer and give of yourself, that draws people to you, not crazy dumb rules that supposedly force people by the grace of good manners to read you and comment. That isn't what I want from my blog. I want people to read who like my blog and want them to be there because it speaks to them. This whole I read your blog now read mine is very odd. I read blogs that I like to read. That's it. I'm not going to stop reading a blog because they didn't start reading my blog or if they are they aren't commenting. That's kind of silly. Blogs aren't a give and take. It's a personal journal, it's about the writer, the writer's journey, that's it. You either want to follow their journey or not. Also, some of my favorite bloggers, who I look forward to every day I don't leave comments. You never know who your biggest fans are but it would certainly be sad to stop reading a blog you like and never know they read you daily with much affection.