I woke up this morning feeling tired and a little despondent.
I tried to shake it off with a chai, but it's like I couldn't get out of a fog.
I had been dreaming all night of a little baby girl. I was holding her, changing her diapers, and breast feeding her.
I have been so numb and sluggish all day and just wondering what is wrong with me. Am I getting sick? What is going on? I had an appointment with my chiropractor this morning and thought I would feel better after that. I didn't. I just wanted to go to sleep. But can't sleep.
And I just figured it out.
I looked at the date. April 1st.
Two years ago today I was told the baby inside me was not growing and that my pregnancy was not viable. Yeah. I was an April Fool.
On another note, today my friend T.'s baby is due. I have called her several times in the past few weeks, but she has not returned my calls. I think she is probably mad at me because I have not really been there for her during most of her pregnancy. Anyway, I hope she and the baby are okay. I am sure that they are.
I'm just sad today. Tomorrow will be better.